Examination

Music and Lyrics by Frank Runyeon ’75 

All: The long recognized purpose of college 
Is the sober pursuit of knowledge. 
The pleasure of an examination
Is it measures our dedication. 
We pledge to grow from youth to maturity 
Pursuing truth in its purity. 
United in this single-minded quest, 
As scholars we take our final test. 

Crammers: 
Oh why didn’t I read that book more carefully? 
I knew since early fall that it was crucial. 
I mean I tried to cram a quick look at it, but 
I’m through if I can’t recall its conclusion. 
Was it the influence of the environment on the individual? 
Or the affluence of the retirement of the residual? 
Or the confluence of the rehirement of the older ritual? 
Oh why is this confusion so habitual? 

Cheaters: 
I can’t quite see 
If you could please write more legibly 
And maybe move your head a bit to the right 
And pull in your elbow 
Ah yes, that’s right! No, no, no! 

B.S.-ers: 
When it’s a question of multiple guess 
Pardon the expression it’s time for B.S. 
‘Cause what you don’t know 
You don’t show. 

Daydreamers: 
God, it’s such a pretty day, 
Wonder if I’ve lost some weight 
Just to be down in Montego Bay 
Wonder if the professor is gay 
Oh there’s a blue jay! 

Acers: 
I’m gonna get an A A A A A A A A A 
A certain bet, an A A A A A A A A A 
I’m gonna get an A and that’s for “ace” 
Not a B which is so base 
Not a C in any case 
An F I’ll never face 

All: United in this true and vital quest, 
In purity we took our final test.